It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
