i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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