Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
