He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize