So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
