It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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