so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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