Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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