I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
