everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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