Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
