If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
