dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
