This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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