This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
