let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
