I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
