My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have already put on my inside pants.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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