I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
