drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
