I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
