bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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