I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
