you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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