Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
