I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
