You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
