It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
