Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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