Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
