I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Even my vagina gasped.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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