just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
