Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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