I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
