I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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