3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
