Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
