shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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