i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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