Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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