do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
