I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
