Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
