What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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