It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
