Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
