this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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