dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
