We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
