Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
