What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
